Taylor Swift is so right about you.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
