i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
