Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
