I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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