Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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