and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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