Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize