Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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