I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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