lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
