I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
