it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
