Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize