i will never coherently bang her
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
