I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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