Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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