Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
