the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
