He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
love makes seman taste better
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
