I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
