I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
