i permit you to call me
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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