GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
