He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
