its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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