Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize