I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
