Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
