Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Randomize
