that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I could fuck to npr.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
