so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
