wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
