You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
