It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Green mimosas i think yes
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
