called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
