I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
