i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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