Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
