I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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