I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
