im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
