it glows. i had to have it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
