So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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