A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
