I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
