I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
