I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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