i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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