I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
