i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
