So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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