i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
