i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
