We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize