if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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