he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i drank out of a bidet.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
