i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
