Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
