the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
