Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
