I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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