That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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