Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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