I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
